Talking to former prisoners of war. Recommendations by Valeria (Nava) Subotina
The full-scale war pushes us to learn new things, including the intricacies of talking to soldiers and former prisoners of war. What should you consider before interviewing those who have been captive? How to ask about their experiences in a way that makes for an interesting material while not traumatizing the person?
Valeria (Nava) Subotina, a reserve officer and former POW, Mariupol defender, director of the hub for displaced persons "YOUkraine", answered these and other questions for the UK comms club.
Talking to prisoners of war after their return home
A soldier returning from captivity is a priori unhappy. Coming home is not a panacea and not a happy ending to a story. Coming home is often the beginning of new challenges for a soldier. That is why they really need support.
Setting foot in their homeland, a former POW is not always ready for people loudly greeting them coming out of the bus, for a crowd of strangers immediately throwing a flag over their shoulders or coming in for a hug. They are yet to process what is happening, and they cannot be happy.
It is important that those who have survived captivity work with trained psychologists who can uplift them and explain that life goes on. And today some specialists come to former POWs and burst into tears or ask them: "And how are you going to live with this?"
Society and the media should avoid comments or statements like "I imagine what they did to her/him in captivity."
Making photo collages with soldiers before and after captivity is also unnecessary. This can be done either by the person themselves or by their relatives with their permission. Do not try to get likes and shares by posting such pictures. This is at least unethical.
What communication with former prisoners of war should be like? It should pull a person out of depression, tell them that they will be able to live on, but everything will be different now.
The main tip for talking with ex-POWs is to ask what the person wants. And hear their answer. Because very often people ask, but do not listen to the reply and continue to do as they see fit.
Before you ask a question, imagine that it was you being asked that. Play out in your head what you would feel, whether you would be happy to answer. If the answer is "no", it is better not to speak.
How (and whether) to talk about those in captivity?
Valeria Subotina believes that talking on prisoners of war is important and that people doing so should mention the names of these people. After all, practice shows that soldiers with publicity are usually swapped faster.
However! It is necessary to talk about POWs as people: what kind of parents they were, that their children and families are waiting for them. Do not talk about their combat merits, ranks, what they have done in the war.
You should say that you are waiting for your son, brother, sister, spouse, etc. If you talk about what a good fighter they were, the enemy is unlikely to want to release them.
What should interviews with ex-POWs be like?
After being freed from captivity, the "Azovstal" defenders became a point of active interest for journalists, gave interviews. Yet, several months passed, and the questions started to become repetitive. The media should prepare for conversations with former POWs, watch their previous interviews.
The media and society are similar in that they often ask questions head-on. You should be asking: "What was the most painful moment of captivity for you?", "When you think about captivity, what do you think about, what comes to mind?" And not: "Did they beat you? Did you break anything?"
Those who have just come back from captivity and those who have been free for a year should be asked different questions. With the former, you should say right away that talking about their experience may be painful, but both our society and people abroad should hear this.
If a person has been released from captivity a while ago, you should ask how they are doing now, what they managed to achieve since then. You may ask what made them laugh recently. That is, it is a good idea to switch to something positive, try to highlight the former POW's achievements and their new life. And such an interview will be therapeutic not only for them, but also for those listening to or reading it.
To better understand what questions you should ask, talk to former POWs more, go to rallies for the release of our captive defenders. Don not just watch banal interviews, but listen to podcasts where those who have been in captivity talk to each other. And follow former POWs on social media, because you can understand their life from the stories they share.
What does our current info space lack?
Valeria (Nava) Subotina is convinced that veterans should have as much presence in the media as possible: as journalists, news anchors, comedians.
There is a shortage of ex-POWs, servicepeople, and amputee soldiers in the media space. Their appearances could help bridge the gap between them and society. It is important to show that people with different experiences must be perceived normally. In particular those who were widowed during the war and started a new relationship after a while. There is no need to keep quiet about the topic of widows and widowers in Ukraine.
How to help or thank a former prisoner of war without fear?
First, ask if they need help. If so, what help exactly. Adapt to the persopn's needs, do not stop them if they talk about something a lot and frankly. If they suddenly close off – wait. But give them an opportunity to see that you are there for them and ready to help if need be.
Do you want to thank a former POW on the street, in a cafe or in a company? First of all, assess if the situation you are approaching them in is appropriate. You can simply smile and nod, buy them a coffee. Do not express sympathy or pity in any case. Encourage them, compliment them, say something that will help pull a person out of depression or simply improve their emotional state.
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